ANXIETY
Anxiety, we all have it to an extent. We all get anxious about things we can’t control, some of us struggle a lot more than others. We panic uncontrollably at times, feeling like we can never leave the house without something bad happening. It gives us this illusion that we have this sense of control when we can stay put. I have never thought of being anxious as a sin, or I would try convince myself that it wasn’t a sin. But worrying about things out of our control will do nothing. When I am in those states of mind, I am not relying on God and trusting in his way for my life. I am telling myself that my worrying is stronger than God’s plan. How do we ever feel okay questioning God’s plan for our lives. Panicking and being anxious is not going do anything for us, other than make the journey more miserable and stressful.
Worrying about things is second nature to us, especially me. I don’t even realize when I am worrying about things, all of the small things do add up. I know I’m probably not the only one who feels this way, but I also feel that it is something that doesn’t get talked about a lot. A lot of people have not had panic attacks or severe anxiety. I wouldn’t say I have severe anxiety, but it is definitely something that I struggle with at times. I have had full blown panic attacks at the top of mountains, and often go through worst case scenarios, and other days it is totally fine and I am not anxious at all and confident, filled with peace about everything.
Life will be filled with trials and challenges, it doesn’t mean that we can’t show emotion. Anxious times seem nearly impossible not to have. But my anxious bouts can tend to spiral if I don’t take time to pray, breathe, and to just be.. still. It is hard to get the mind to stop wandering and from worrying about the uncontrollable.
Planning is part of our everyday life. We feel like we always need to have a concrete plan, and then when things don’t go according to our plan, we feel anxious and frustrated, and then we keep worrying about our next steps. Who says that you always need a next step, why can’t we rest? Planning is something I love. I love nothing more then filling out my planner and crossing things off of my to do list. It is such a satisfying feeling, but when I have 6 out of my 10 things left on my to do list for the day I all of a sudden feel overwhelmed. I feel as if I didn’t do enough during the day. I wasn’t successful for the day because other unplanned things came up and life happened. Does that mean I wasn’t productive? That is how I view it in my head, I don’t look at it from the perspective of all of the other things that I did get accomplished during my day. We tend to focus on our shortcomings, and why is that. God is in control, we work hard and we listen and his plans will unfold. That doesn’t mean it is going to be all roses and that it is going to be this journey full of grace and peace. It will come with challenges and unknowns, but what good will our worrying and anxiety help with? It isn’t going to change anything, in fact, it will just make those challenging times more difficult and emotional.
A sense of awareness, do you remember the time that you became aware of what is cool and what is not, what is right and what is wrong? Junior high is when I became aware and became self-conscious of things that really shouldn’t matter. A shame when your innocence gets taken and you become aware of your surroundings. So how do we overcome that? How do we stop worrying about what other people think, or worrying about future jobs, moves, etc? Life is always full of unknowns and there always will be. So what a beautiful and vulnerable gift to fully rely on God. Being in a state of complete vulnerability and surrender to the one who has strength and power that none of us can imagine.
We aren’t perfect, and I most certainly am not perfect, so there will be days when I still am anxious, but I am learning more and more that anxiety is really just a huge slap in the face to God when we spend our time worrying about the plan that He has in place for us. So instead of worrying and becoming anxious, lets pray first and be still, knowing that our lives will take their course the way it is meant to be.
xoxo Mara
